Before there was Rambo, before there was Captain America, before there was even Daniel Boone skinning bears and quoting Psalms, there was a devout Puritan with a flintlock in one hand and a Geneva Bible in the other, stomping through the howling wilderness with righteous fury in his soul and the covenant of God burning in his gut. His name was Benjamin Church, and he didn’t just fight wars—he handcrafted vengeance into a colonial art form.
This is the man who took the chaos of King Philip's War, stuffed it into a black powder cartridge, and lit the fuse with a theological smirk. He didn't fight for gold or glory. He fought because God hates disorder, and someone had to remind the enemies of Christ’s people that covenant-breakers don't just get stern letters—they get musket balls and scalp lines. Benjamin Church wasn't just a soldier. He was a one-man Protestant thunderclap. And it's time you knew why his name belongs in the Book of Smite.
BORN INTO THE STORM
Benjamin Church was born in 1639 in Plymouth Colony, back when Massachusetts was more Geneva than Boston and the average colonist could quote Jeremiah faster than they could reload a musket. He grew up among the elect, in a culture saturated with sermons, catechisms, fasting days, and the unshakable belief that the Puritans were the new Israel and the wilderness was their Canaan—infested not with giants, but with Jesuits, witches, and war-whooping pagans.
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